Self-confidence: it’s one of the most valuable qualities we can have, yet it is also one of the most elusive. What makes confidence difficult to achieve is that building self-belief requires years of reinforcement, but it often takes very little to leave us second-guessing our worth. You feel proud of your accomplishment after receiving a job offer and walk in on your first day with your head held high – until you begin to wonder if you really belong there when all your coworkers seem more qualified. You feel satisfied at the end of a productive day running errands – until you remember that one forgotten thing on your to-do list and criticize yourself for your mistake. We constantly balance numerous responsibilities, but it’s important to remember our responsibility to be kind to ourselves and to focus not on our perceived shortcomings but on our many strengths during challenging moments.
These challenging moments are typically when our self-confidence is most vulnerable. However, reminding ourselves of the times when we have overcome other challenges or achieved our goals can help maintain the confidence we need to face whatever we are dealing with. For example, maybe you received some negative feedback on a project at work, but think of those prior successes when you have turned constructive criticism into an opportunity for growth. Subtly altering your mindset in this way can help prevent these disappointments from shaking your confidence and can actually help you to be more successful long-term. Additionally, remind yourself that you cannot be perfect all the time. While striving to do your best is a great quality, setting impossible standards for yourself prevents you from taking potentially valuable lessons from your mistakes and from building your self-belief.
Our level of self-confidence is also closely linked to our interactions with others. Some interactions are within our control, but others are ultimately about how we respond. For example, if you have an idea that you want to pitch to your boss, it’s up to you to remind yourself of your idea’s merits and to bring your most confident body language and articulation to the table in your presentation. Inevitably, though, we are sometimes put in reactionary positions where it becomes more difficult to remain self-assured. If someone makes an unreasonable request of your time, your instinct might be either to apologize as you say no or to actually say yes, even if the request will place unnecessary pressure on your schedule. Regardless of the situation, a lack of self-confidence in communicating with supervisors, friends, coworkers, and family members alike often stems from a desire to not lose the esteem or admiration of others. However, just the opposite usually proves to be true. Staying true to ourselves and the strengths we have is something that is highly worthy of respect and that even sets a positive example for others in our lives. Like any other skill, self-confidence takes time to build, but it is a skill that will serve you immeasurably throughout your life.
Sources:
https://www.usf.edu/student-affairs/counseling-center/top-concerns/what-is-self-confidence.aspx
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/trust-yourself/202110/how-stop-over-apologizing#