I walked up to the microphone and looked out at the audience in front of me. Weeks of rehearsing during drives in the car and watching numerous YouTube videos on auditions, proper breath support and vocal tone had finally brought me to that moment. My love for singing and performing began at age four. I sang in choirs and vocal groups in church and school. I was even fortunate to sing solos in weddings and other events throughout the city. Then there was an audition when nervous energy got the best of me and I was unable to complete the performance. I didn’t sing in public again for several years. But there I was auditioning and reunited with my platform. The band played and I indulged in my opportunity. The positive response was humbling, and to think I almost didn’t take that chance to sing again.
As the curtain slowly closes toward the end of this year, I’m thinking about a post I wrote on my Facebook page in January. It read, in every struggle I wish you strength and for any disappointment I wish you determination. Earlier this year my husband and I were turned down on a loan for a house. I was so heartbroken reading the cold form letter from the bank. It felt like the effort and energy put into the whole process was a waste of our time. I wondered, why did we try in the first place? Then disappointment made me think about my Mother who would be so ill endless days during chemotherapy treatments. Once she said going through it all was worth the chance because it gave her more time. I’m thankful for that gift she gave our family. Mom fought to be here as long as she was able. She had hope and kept going even when she felt her worst. My situation seemed small compared to what she went through.
One of the lessons my Mother taught me was to try and keep trying. So I did something this year that I hadn’t done in a very long time and joined a choir. A good friend mentioned a local choir she saw at a live show. She handed the program book to me about the performance and said, “I can see you doing this.” The only requirement to be a member is to complete a few hours of volunteer work. It’s not only about the singing. It’s the connection with others who enjoy sharing their voice while helping in the community. I wasn’t sure if this was something I wanted to do but I thought about what phenomenal possibilities I could miss staying within my comfort zone. The experience of being in the choir has brought amazing people in my life who have become my support. I’ve had the pleasure to sing with the symphony, in the theater at fund-raisers and other events. I’ve been honored to volunteer and learn more about people while gaining confidence in speaking publicly and writing blogs. Most of all doing more of what I enjoy and I’m singing again. Open auditions were held for soloists in the choir. I couldn’t pass up my chance.
When it seems you can’t do anymore but you keep going, you are trying. That is so inspirational! Every medical appointment you keep, every single day you go to a job you may not enjoy and every bill you pay, you are trying. Whether its depression, grieving the loss of a loved one, abuse, addiction, low self-esteem, or not getting something you’ve had your heart set upon, I hope you keep trying. You are worth the chance. Please take that thought with you into the next year. On your worst days I hope you find encouragement and strength.
As for my audition, I wasn’t one of the people chosen as a soloist in the choir. At first I was disappointed but I realize my personal growth. I wouldn’t have stepped up to that microphone a year ago. I still got to sing at one of the largest venues in the city and we had an epic performance. There will be more chances to audition and I’m so excited about trying again.