I had high expectations for this year, and I didn’t want to be wrong. In the first month alone, so many good things happened. Everything felt right. That was until the global pandemic started.
Fortunately for me, I am able to work from home at this time. It is harder to work in the same place that I relax in, especially with my slow, 6-year-old laptop. But it’s not impossible. I am blessed to still have a job at a time when so many are unemployed. I wanted more time to work on myself, but I didn’t think it would take a pandemic for it to happen. The irony of it all reminds me of a few old sayings: “Ask for what you want, and pay for what you get,” as well as “When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.” Oddly enough, I still struggle with having a work-life balance. My sleeping schedules have become inconsistent, even more than they were before. Sometimes I have trouble focusing on work assignments, and I can’t seem to stay off social media. I convince myself that it’s necessary to scroll endlessly to stay up-to-date. Being at home all the time has a negative effect on my mental health and my self-confidence. Some days I feel depressed, ugly, and unproductive. Going to the mail box and taking out the trash are now simple obligations that I look forward to. The days and weeks may blend into each other, but luckily my work keeps me grounded.
Ultimately, I know that I have the power to turn this all around. My goals don’t have to be put on hold because of what’s happening. I can still get closer to family members and friends, even if they are far away. Maybe now, I’ll pick up my phone more often to call people. Video calls are also available through different apps, and I hope to take advantage of them in the near future. Now is a good time to watch the shows and read the books that I’ve been neglecting. I understand that it is okay to be worried in the midst of a global pandemic, yet I can’t let it consume me. I have faith that things will get better in the months to come. We just have to take things one day at a time.